Not worth your money – Cosmetics

(Picture credit: Beauty Punk, whose article "The Green Beauty Diet" was one of the inspirations of this rant)

The cosmetics industry is one of the most beautifully, artistically, brilliantly advertised of all times. Not only do cosmetics appeal to us with their textures and seductive perfumes; they are cleverly and attractively packaged, popularised by advertisements that make us dream.

I don’t know about you, but if I had a brain scanner when i enter a cosmetics shop, i’m sure several areas of my brain would become intermittently alight with overstimulation. I work hard at behaving like an “aloof, unavailable ice queen” à la Bridget Jones, whereas if sales assistants could read my mind I could be easily convinced into purchasing the whole store.

But then…

… we come home, we use the products that we spent a few hundred euros in and… well… routine kills romance, as they say, and the magic is just not there anymore and all the profusely used French wording start sounding empty in our ears...

No, you don’t actually have Gazelle legs, despite using Guerlain’s leg bronzer. No, you are not a more sophisticated, demure lady, despite owning that Dior eyeshadow palette. No, your “complexion” is not especially “radiant” (whatever that means) after using La Mer’s cream, or Chanel’s Blanc Universelle. No, you don’t feel like a svelte 16-year old model wearing a  fancy dress while rocking in a swing that hangs inside the spiral of a staircase over a balloon-filled danceroom in black and white while a Muse song plays in the background.

Instead you just have fluids and powders in plastic and glass containers.

You fell for the ads. For the sales lady, for the promises of glamour, of beauty, of sophistication. You thought you purchased all that; instead you just bought... a pot of some goo. 

In an effort to avoid this situation in the future, I have created a protocol to follow in case of acute cosmetic infatuation. I apply this to myself, but I publish it here in case it can be of any use to you.

1. Do you already own something that does the same?

In this case, just use up what you already have. Only when it’s finished will you have a reason or “excuse” to purchase a new one. In the meantime, try to picture your current product in place of the new (in the shop, in the ad, you name it). Hey, it works for me.

Examples:

a. “I already own a black eyeliner that works nicely for smoky eyes, but maybe this Guerlain Khol will look better…”.
No. Black stuff in the eyes is black stuff in the eyes. I concede that pencil/khol is different from liquid eyeliner. Other than that, pretty much nobody (including yourself) will be able to tell much of a difference between variations of the same products, unless the difference results from an easier application. For example, if you draw better lines with a brush using gel from a pot than with a liquid eyeliner, go for it. If your pencil eyeliner fades or smothers, try covering it with black eyeshadow, which should keep it in place. If it’s still shit, throw it away and get the new one. But if you’re concerned that this or that pencil will look differently, discard the idea.

b. “I already have a blush, but it’s pink-ish, and this peach is so ‘in’ this season…”.
No. If you are a very artistic person with a special sensitivity to colour, you will be able to tell the difference. But most of us ordinary people with ordinary sensitivities will not really see a great difference from an extra blush. Maybe some difference, yes, but not an great one. Blush makes you look healthier, prettier and well… blushed… regardless of the colour. I would assume that when you bought your current blush you already tried all the available shades and chose the best one, didn’t you? Is that new shade super different from the one you already own and does it make you look particularly better? If not, forget about it – you will end up with two blushes holding up space in your nécessaire, and they will take ages to finish.

If the answer is “no”, move on to the next point.

2.  Do you want this product to see actual results, or to enjoy the process of applying it without there being a need for an effect?

If you are ok with buying something just because it’s pretty and you feel good just having and applying it (like you would enjoy owning a flower vase or Lladró figure), great. If you love the feel of that mousse in your skin, the smell of that moisturising cream, the look of that pretty powder puff, the color of that 25-euro nail polish, and you don’t care whether anything happens afterwards, great. Go for it. Give yourself that daily pleasure. What is more beautiful than a relaxing, enjoyable female beauty ritual?

Well, many things are. Puppies, for instance. But I see your point there.

However, if you are just looking for a product that gets a specific work done, move on to point 3.

3. Don’t invest much money (or any money at all) in the following items.

The items in this list reflect my personal needs and preferences. This is what works and does not work for me. This list may change for every person. I share mine for the pleasure of sharing; I invite you to reflect and consider what products should be on your “not worth it” list.

a)       Moisturiser. I know. I know. Moisturising is a most important step in our skincare routine, we should invest in good moisturisers… Well, tell you what. I have tried the fanciest moisturisers in the market, including La Prairie and La Mer, and I cannot really see a difference with humbler but good quality moisturisers. My current favourite is Xhekpon, which you can buy in Spanish pharmacies for 5 euros, and I don’t miss La Mer. I buy Xhekpon because I don’t mind the fact that it does not come in a pretty glass jar but in an ugly tube, or the fact that its texture is that of a simple white cream instead of a lovely gel/mousse/tingling stuff with a lovely colour, or that it does not smell of delicate flowers but of the chemicals it’s made of. But that’s just me – I just want a moisturiser, not a delicious perfumed ritual. If you are looking for the latter, go for it!

The gorgeous Dita von Teese expressed the same view in an interview recently:
“[My dermatologist] tells me never to expect miracles from beauty creams and just to use the products I like the texture and scent of, because none of them are going to change your life. I've tried nearly every fancy cream on the market, and I can tell you that although I might luxuriate in some of them, the results I've had from some of the Neutrogena and Cetaphil products are exactly the same”.

b)    Serum. Doubling up the time and cost it takes to moisturise my face, but i cant really see a difference. Maybe I will change my mind as I get older, but at my fresh, young 26 years old I really don’t need this. 

c)     Primers. Honestly? When I was younger primer did not seem to exist (at least I personally was not aware of its existence) and we carried on just fine. If my make up does not really stay on for 10 hours, I take 2 minutes to reapply at some point; problem solved. If my makeup does not apply smoothly without a primer, it’s probably shit makeup anyways, and I buy a better one that does work on my skin type. If you’re a star attending a red-carpet event, I can see why primer would make sense. If you’re a normal person working a normal job, I don’t.

d)    Transparent/translucent stuff. Like Chanel’s Blanc Universel, or like this stuff from Guerlain

(I still can’t fathom what it actually does. Its mere existence in a competitive market fascinates me).

Seriously? I mean, if it does not actually show, what’s the point of me putting that stuff on my face? More potentially poisonous chemicals, more time, more money, a more caked-up face, no difference to the average observer. No, thanks.

e)    Another eyeshadow palette. How many eyeshadow palettes have you actually finished in your whole life? Exactly. Use up the one you already own. Chances are it has wearable, basic colours on it. Fancying that crazy, bright eyeshadow that has become a trend this season according to Dior? You’ll probably almost never wear it. Just sayin’. If you really feel like it, first consider a cheaper version of the same colour, so that you feel less guilty when you see it laying mostly untouched at the bottom of your makeup back/drawer/shelf for a couple of years before throwing it to the garbage where it belongs.

f)      Nail polish. This is a tricky one. I am a big fan of Chanel polish because of the gorgeous colors, basically. Other than that, this 25-euro polish chips on my nails and dries on the bottles just exactly the same than the 4-euro polish from Kiko. I spend money on colours, not on staying power, since it is a hopeless, lost cause.

g)     Shimmery highlighter.

Like this.

Or like this.

Pretty much every brand carries one. But have you tried to use the shimmery white/pearl/champagne eyeshadow from your palette? (yes, the one you never use). Pat it on the top of your cheekbones or over your cupid’s bow, then tell me if you still feel you need that highlighter.

h)    Body shimmer. If you are not younger than 7 years old, chances are you will never wear that. I am guilty of the purchase of this two beauties that I force myself to wear on random nights out.

Then i spend a few days with shimmer on my coat.

i)      Shampoo and shower gel. These wash away with water and nothing remains. Again, I have tried my share of expensive salon hair products, only to discover that the cheaper supermarket versions do the trick just the same. I currently use Urtekram rose because it’s organic, cruelty-free and smells like roses. I prefer to invest in the stuff that really does stay on my hair/skin, such as leave-in conditioner, serum, or body moisturiser.

j)      Scrubs. I mix a bit of baking soda or sugar with some moisturiser/soap/water/coconut oil and it works perfectly. Not worse than Origins, Clinique, Clarins, Clean & Clear or Lush, according to my experience. Eventually the scrub goes down the drain, and so does the (usually big) money it costs. Again – do you enjoy the soft smell and bland touch of Origins’ apricot scrub? Did Benefit’s pineapple scrub make your day better with its fun scent?  In that case, go for it knowing that you’re shopping experiences, not results.

I realise I am lucky to have a low-maintenance skin, that looks happy with basic products. This is probably due to the fact that I live mostly on plants and I very rarely eat animal products. I am lucky enough to be able to sleep 7 or 8 hours every night. Maybe genetics, too, has something to do with how “low maintenance” my skin is.

I'm sorry if I have offended your sensitivity by "insulting" your favourite beauty products. I repeat, I only talk about what works and does not work for me, as a way to spark a debate or to set the tone for you to carry out an honest self-analysis of yourself and your consumption habits. Do you really need that product? Is that going to make yourself and your day better in any way? Is there not anything else you could spend that money on that would make you happier?

I feel so sorry to see people’s cluttered makeup bags/cabinets with hundreds of bucks worth of makeup slowly rotting away. I believe in a simple life, a clutter-free life, a way back to the essentials. A life of shaving off the superfluous, like a sculptor does, to find the beauty hidden under all that waste.

What are your “not worth your money” beauty products? 

Cat-ear Hat

I firmly believe owning this hat would make me a happier, brighter and generally better person. You can't be otherwise when you're wearing cat ears on your head, right?

Autumn neutrals

I'm happy the autumn is back, and it's the perfect moment to cover up a bit in snuggly clothes, preferably in neutral hues. Do you like this outfit? I have a similar skirt I haven't worn in ages. With a white shirt, a statement necklace and a thin belt it would look gorgeous. I don't own a Chanel bag (unfortunately), but my Louis Vuitton Alma BB should do the trick ;)

Siempre es agradable cuando vuelve el otoño; se trata del momento perfecto para cubrirse un poco en ropa cómoda y cálida, preferiblemente en tonos neutros. ¿Te gusta este conjunto? Yo tengo una falda parecida que no me pongo hace mil. Con una camisa blanca, un collar statement y un cinturón fino estaría chulísima. No tengo un bolso Chanel (por desgracia), pero mi Alma BB de Louis Vuitton debería quedar bien ;)

Boobs back in?

For quite a while I have noticed a "boobs out" kind of trend. I mean that for quite a while it has been more fashionable to cover up the cleavage, leaving the sexy factor to a shorter skirt or a tighter fit. Partly exposing the boobs has come off as vulgar, or at least as more vulgar than in the past.

However when I saw the dress that ScarJo was sporting the other day, à la Monica Bellucci, I thought it looked classy and feminine. Since fashion is cyclical, do you think this marks the Return of the Boob?

Dans d'autres yeux

¿Qué dirías de ti mismo si fueses otra persona? ¿Te observarías, quizá, con más indulgencia? Probablemente muchas de tus rarezas, ésas de las que te avergüenzas, no parecerían más que entrañables excentricidades.

What would you say about yourself if you were someone else? Would you maybe look more leniently upon yourself? Probably many of your weird habits, those you are ashamed or embarrased about, would not seem to be more than endearing, excentric quirks. 

¿Soy yo la única persona que el 90% del tiempo que pasa escuchando música se está imaginando a sí misma interpretándola? Toda mi vida, durante una hora al día de media, he estado dando conciertos en mi mente. Eso son 2920 horas de conciertos imaginarios; o sea, 122 días. 4 meses de conciertos imaginarios son muchos conciertos.

Am I the only person who spends 90% of her music-listening time imagining herself performing it? All my life, I have averaged 1 hour daily offering gigs in my mind. That’s 2920 hours of imaginary concerts; namely 122 days. 4 months’ worth of imaginary concerts is a shitload of concerts. 

Por eso  privilegio a la música con intérpretes femeninas, o bien artistas masculinos que trabajen en un estilo en que me encuentre cómoda (Eminem, Alejandro Sanz, Lacrimosa, Radiohead, Franz Ferdinand, por nombrar unos cuantos). Sé que, como decían Les Luthiers, la gente escucha música para todo: música para leer, para escribir; música para dormir, para comer.* Pues yo, no. ** Lo mío es la música para imaginarme dando conciertos.

That is why I privilege music performed by female artists, or by male artists that work in a style I feel comfortable in (Eminem, Alejandro Sanz, Lacrimosa, Radiohead, Franz Ferdinand, to name but a few). I know that, as Les Luthiers said, people listen to music for everything: music for reading, for writing; music to read, to eat.*  Well, I don’t.** My thang is to listen to music so I can imagine myself performing at gigs. 

Voilà. Siempre me ha parecido que esta manía mía de soñar despierta con música, siempre los mismos sueños,  durante años, era un poco vergonzosa y tal vez el motivo por el que no me gusta mucha de la música cool que escucha la gente guay. Tipo Pink Floyd, o el grupo del marido de Gwyneth (¿cómo se llamaba? Tenían una canción que se llamaba “speed of sound”. Superfamosa. Joder…). De hecho muchas veces pongo canciones de estas “chupi” en el iPod, a ver si me engatuso a mí misma, shuffle mediante, para empezar a escucharla y a disfrutarla. Pero nada, no hay manera.

Voilà. I have always found that this quirk of mine, daydreaming to music, and daydreaming always the same dreams, for years, was slightly shameful, and maybe it is the reason why I am not quite a fun of the cool music that cool people listen to. I mean, like Pink Floyd, or the band of Gwyneth’s husband (what was its name again? They had a song that was called “speed of sound.” Super well known. Fuck…). Actually I often include some of this “cool” songs in my iPod, so I can lure myself, via shuffle, to start listening to and enjoying it. But no way. 

Tal vez mi madre, o algún desconocido bienpensante, encontrase esta manía mía entrañable. A lo mejor dirían: “tenía gracia Rosana, no paraba de fantasear consigo misma dando conciertos. Más que un iPod tenía un inductor de ensoñaciones”.

Maybe my mother, or some kindly-thinking stranger, would find endearing this mania of mine. Maybe they would say: “She was funny, Rosana, she wouldn’t stop fancying herself performing at gigs. Rather than an iPod, what she had was a daydream inducing device.” 

* Los hay incluso que escuchan música de fondo mientras escuchan música. / Some people even listen to background music while they listen to music. 

** A veces sí que escucho música de fondo para cocinar o en fiestas. En la cocina normalmente soy yo cantando zarzuela. En las fiestas, intento no escucharla a ver si me entero de lo que me dice la gente. / Sometimes I do listen to background music while cooking or at parties. In the kitchen, normally it’s just me singing zarzuela. At parties, I try not to listen to it to see if I can hear what people are telling me. 

El Nacionalismo de Estrellita Castro

¡Me encantas, Estrellita!

Rusalochka

Rusalochka

Rusálochka (Русалочка) es la adaptación cinematográfica soviético-búlgara de La Sirenita. Data de 1976.

Rusalochka (Русалочка) is the soviet-bulgarian movie adaptation of The Little Mermaid. It dates back from 1976.

Mágica, poética y evocadora, su fotografía bañada de una luz desvaída casi invernal, Rusálochka es una premonición de la primavera.

Magical, poetic and haunting, its pictures bathed in an almost wintry washed-out light, Rusalochka is a spring omen.

Hay que ver a través del torpe rodaje y los extraños planos para descubrir la Belleza Oculta.

One has to see through the poorly film techniques and the strange zoom-out shots to discover the Hidden Beauty.

Los atuendos son exquisitos. Los actores, bellísimos. Hay una princesa que parece labrada en porcelana fina.

The attires are exquisite. The actors are ravishing. There is a princess who looks like she's been carved in fine porcelain.

La Rusálochka, con su carita de niña y un poco de otro mundo.

The Rusalochka, with her baby, somewhat otherwordly little face.

Y el príncipe azul:

And Prince Charming:

Algunos planos recuerdan a pinturas prerrafaelistas.

Some shots are reminiscent of pre raphaelite paintings.

... o dalinianas:

... or to dali paintings:

Y otros son simplemente bellos:

Whereas some other are just beautiful:

La película es bien diferente del cuento de Andersen. La Sirenita cuenta con un compañero humano que dará un giro inesperado a la trama...

The movie is quite different from the Andersen tale. The Little Mermaid relies on a human companion who will make the plot take an unexpected turn...

La película puede verse entera (V.O. rusa subtitulada) AQUÍ.

The movie can be fully watched (russian O.V. with captions) HERE.

*** Epílogo ***

Fascinada por los actores, investigué a qué se habían dedicado el resto de sus vidas.

Fascinated by the actors, I did some research on what they had been doing for the rest of their lives.

• La princesa hizo otra película (Bambi) poco después en la que aparecía bella pero más humana y menos majestuosa.
  The princess appeared in another movie (Bambi) shortly after, where she was depicted still beautiful but more human and less majestic.
• El príncipe se hizo mayor y se puso calvo y gordo. Menos mal que la Sirenita nunca supo que había renunciado a la inmortalidad submarina por esto:
  The prince grew older, balder, fatter. Luckily for her, the Little Mermaid never knew that she had renounced to undersea immortality for this:
  
• La Sirenita no sé si volvió a rodar. Si ésta de la foto es realmente ella (mismo nombre, mismas cejas), ha empeorado bastante con la edad...
  I do not know whether the Little Mermaid ever appeared in a movie again. If this woman in the picture is really her (same name, same eyebrows), she has not aged very well...

El tiempo pasa también para los actores, pero la Belleza Oculta que crearon hace 36 años sigue intacta.

Time passes for the actors too, but the Hidden Beauty they created 36 years ago remains intact.